I am a Black man wanting to marry a Liberian woman

Virgin Poster Joined: Apr 24, 2007 Posts: 7

She has cooked Chek rice? and her mom made fufu and peanut butter soup. I've also had cassava leaf and ginger beer. So as you can see the food and the "friendly" culture, I have no problem with, but I want to know more about customs, married life, and children. Any advice?

Average Poster Joined: Aug 13, 2006 Posts: 86

Love conquered all, learn to adopt.

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 8:17 pm

Manny welcome to the best site online.

My little 2 pence worth of advice is.. marriage and
children ..is personal experience. You have to go
through that..Let's say it's a personalised journey.
Sure there are certain points to watch like,

Talk..communicate

Remember to tell her you love her everyday..
women like to hear it not just know it.

Share the household chores.

Be open and honest if you have a little worry or problem,
because if you don't talk it will grow and become a major
problem.

Set aside time to ask each other how you feel and use
that time to discuss anything that bothers you.

Remember that love can die if it is not nurtured.

Never use the bedroom as a place to quarrel or iron out
problems..keep your bedroom sacred..just for sleeping and
ofcourse your loving time.

Start by talking to your baby in the womb.

It has now been proved that babies do recognise
their father's voice.

Remember babies in the womb can hear and distinguish
sounds..if mummy is stressed baby gets stressed and
if you are shouting at mum and having arguements,
the baby can hear all that and gets distressed.

I am not saying you would do that..just pointing out
since we know it goes on..so the obvious thing is
feed your baby with positive vibes as he/she is growing
in Mum's womb

Don't argue infront of children.

Always stand united on what rules you set for the children.

Remember that children will observe and copy your behaviour.
So it is not do as I say, but do as I do...

Always remember, that children need to know they are loved
Hug them, tell them they are precious, and of course if you are
religiously inclined then they will see the Love of God in your
ways and in turn express that same Godly love.

Make sure your children's time is structured and there is routine.

Talk to your children, play with them, read to them and don't be
afraid to get down on the floor and make toys, draw and colour
with them.

If bedtime is 8pm then let it be so... as long they are in their bed
even if they are not asleep..let them read a book.

I don't agree with Televisions and computers etc in children's bedrooms.
It causes a lot of division and many children have become solitary
individuals.

Remember..it is not the physical things that the companies want
you to buy that make your child happy. It is the love and security
and sense of wellbeing that make a child complete.
You only need to see what's going on in the world and know that
many children are *lost*.

Eat together as a family ..when you can.

If you can, let your children get to know cousins, aunts, uncles
grandparents etc. I know sometimes distance can make things
hard..but at least if distance is a problem, let them write letters,
emails etc.

The culture thing..I guess your wife will enlighten you on her
values.

Respect..love..forgiveness..no holding grudges..patience..kindness..
tolerance..sharing and much more contribute to a good marriage.

My Mother gave me a piece of advice.. it goes like this...

Your Children don't belong to you. They are on loan from God.
Your Job is to train them up well, to become strong, independent,
God fearing, individuals. Then you must hand them back to God,
Since we know our children must leave the nest.. and we cannot
be around them 24/7, Only God and what we have taught them
will protect them.

Trust me I lived by that and still do.. and I can tell you..almost
29 years later..It does work.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Amen....................A Liberian woman, like any other woman, wants to be loved, respected, cherished, taken care of, nutured, indulged, etc. etc. etc.

Seems to me you're half way there already, learning to enjoy the food is the easiest part! Understanding her, appreciating your differences, her culture, her diversity, the way she loves and how she interacts with you and to you.

There's a lot of "flavor" in your Liberian woman, don't let her go!

Virgin Poster Joined: Apr 24, 2007 Posts: 7

Well understanding and loving her was the easiest part. When we first met, she tried to push my away beacuse I am five years younger than her and she thought that I was going to break her heart and leave her for a female my age, but four years later and we've only had one major arguement. It was a more difficult process keeping her mother's peanut butter soup down becuase she made it so spicy that I was sweating after my third spoonful. It's just I haven't had a chance to learn much about her culture because in a way we have created our own identity together.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Bravo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The "spicy" soup.....is another thing. She must be kru...................take it in stages; when eating, drink lots of water!

Ask her about her tribe, her family history, which part of Liberia she's from, her childhood, all of that will give you some insight to her persona.

The fact that you both have created an identity together is awesome; that's probably all you need!

Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 10:31 pm

Milk is the best way to soothe your mouth from the effects of
spicy food.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Yeah..................'cuz the ice will just melt in your mouth.

Virgin Poster Joined: Apr 24, 2007 Posts: 7

well I know that her father is from Monrovia and that her family speaks Vie?. thanks for the milk tip. works A LOT better than lemonade.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

I believe it's Vai, the correct spelling actually. Cool

Then she hails from Grand Cape Mount County. Check out a map of Liberia that shows the different regions and cuonties. You may get more info on that county.

Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 4:51 am

You're welcome Manny.. How are things going?

Virgin Poster Joined: Apr 24, 2007 Posts: 7

That's right her folks are from Robber's Court and went to Mount Zion. I've had a chance to experiment some more with the food. Her family made some potato greens with chicken and dried shrimp. I've also had some palm butter. Do you know anyone who has the recipe to make ginger beer?

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 11:11 pm

I will ask my neigbour who is Jamaican.,
she will know how to make Ginger Beer.
Very Happy

Virgin Poster Joined: Apr 24, 2007 Posts: 7

What did your neighbor say?

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:22 pm

Manny I am so so sorry.. I totally forgot.
Will ask her as soon as I see her.