A woman's word

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:50 pm

if my girlfriend says that she loves almost all of my character, loves to be in my presence and says that she wants to get married to me after college (shes 21 now) how likely is she to change her mind about me? Like is it likely if she meets a better guy would she leave me for him, or will she get tired of me, etc...? I always ask her if she is sure, and she hates it when I question her. She says she is sure of her decision and it's what she wants, but do I believe her words, or learn from what happens in real life and what young couples go through ?

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:50 pm

oh and by the way, I am African American and she's Kenyan If that matters in the subject.

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:00 am

I think the problem lies with you. Perhaps you are
insecure because you are busy watching other people's
relationships, and not concentrating on the LOVE and
consistency your woman gives to you.
Learn to accept what she says, without looking for
a reason why she might leave.

Average Poster Joined: Jun 19, 2007 Posts: 64

..........LB, you may consider me jaded or cynical, but , let me suggest that a man must never trust a woman %100, no matter how old or what race. Learn to be strong without needing to rely on any female for emotional support. Every man should have a girlfriend(s) for physical reasons, but the day you marry, they turn to into devils......LOL Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:54 am

Your Exactly Right SiSi Pancake. I do find that in my relationship I can be insecure. I love her so much and I just pray that things will work out and that we will get married.

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:09 am

Enjoy the love and affection you shower on each other.
Just because other people break up does not mean that
your relationship is doomed.
Take one step at a time. Make each day very special,
have trust and be secure always in her love.

Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 11:40 pm

Ur right but I hear so much negativity involving relationships like the guy, or girl cheating , or people changing their minds.

Then it's the fact that I tend to have an active imagination, so sometimes its difficult not to think about negative possibilities

Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:27 pm

The key here is to focus on the here and now with your
lady. By creating scenarios in your head, you will actually
do harm to your relationship.
Live for today like it is your last, do this every day and
you should begin to get rid of those negative vibes you
are carrying around with you.

Average Poster Joined: Jun 28, 2007 Posts: 54

LB, allow me to be the devil's advocate here (rubbing hands in glee)

First of all, you're right in being a little skeptical about the longevity of your relationship. As we all know women tend to mature faster then men. In that case, your girlfriend being 21 should be seen as a mature adult who knows what she wants in life regarding a partner and you're that person.

That being said, there are late bloomers. She might, at that young age, think she knows that you're IT but let say you guys marry right out of college- you both will not have allowed yourselves to test your emotional maturity with members of the opposite sex to ascertain whether truly you two are made for each other. Nationalitiy has nothing to do with it. She might, after joining some social group or work environment, suddenly find someone she feels more compatible with (seeing that she would have evolved into a more mature, self assured woman then she was at 21). The same could be said with you. In 7 out of 10 cases, people who marry young or right out of college end up divorcing due to change in tastes, ambition, personality, etc.

Again, even IF this is not the case and after a couple of years she still sees you as the man in her life, your admission of harboring insecure thoughts (why I don't know), constantly questioning her devotion or love to you might create some sort of strain that might see the end of a beautiful relationship. I do believe you should enjoy loving her one day at a time. If she wants to settle down with you do make sure you are compatible financially to be able to do so. The bottom line in any relationship is: there's no romance without finance.

Am done. Going to get my halo back. Wink

Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:21 pm

I agree. this is what goes through my mind all the time. I guess I would have to be extremely blessed to be in a successful relationship

President Poster Joined: Mar 16, 2007 Posts: 140

dude,u i a twenty first century man,enjoy it while it last.no until death do us hoolabaloo crap.life´s 2 short 2 dwell on the future and let the present pass u bye.enjoy r love with her as much as u can,dude.that is called LIVING LIFE.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Nothing is guaranteed. What you need to find out is:
if this woman is the ONE for you; you know; the woman that God Himself has chosen; your REAL soul mate, your Eve.

You sound a little scary there for a second. And I don't even know you. I pray she's not getting the same vibes as I did.

What happens if she decides that she doesn't want you after she graduates? Have you considered that possibility? What will you do?

I think you need to think about these questions, and if you get a negative or ugly answer, you need to back up a little and rethink the entire relationship.

'Cuz I don't want to read about you or your girlfriend in the news.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Professor wrote:

..........LB, you may consider me jaded or cynical, but , let me suggest that a man must never trust a woman %100, no matter how old or what race. Learn to be strong without needing to rely on any female for emotional support. Every man should have a girlfriend(s) for physical reasons, but the day you marry, they turn to into devils......LOL Twisted Evil

Spoken like a true player!

Tell me Professor..............do you also have a girlfriend for other purposes too? You know......cash, visiting family (just in case the physical or cash girlfriends are too "skanky" looking), hanging out with the fellas?

Average Poster Joined: Jun 19, 2007 Posts: 64

.......LOL.....ha...ha...Rina...you too funny yah.!! Me......I got one girl for the fun.......and another for show. My show girl be fine,.... but not good in bed............ The ugly girls,...they know man buisness more.!!! Mr. Green

Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:30 am

Proff are you for real?
I bet you have one for cooking, one for washing your clothes
one for cleaning your house and one for going out to the market.
I don't trust you.
By the way (tell the truth) are you married?
Very Happy