how likely are women to cheat?

President Poster Joined: Mar 16, 2007 Posts: 140

look, dude,LB,u i a man seeking advice from ladies about a lady.they cannot be objective,most especially in this public forum. in my layman´s opinion,the true measure of a man is/are the decision(s) he make(s).good luck on r journey.

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:53 am

thats very deep. And your right, but its interesting how I can take charge of other aspects of my life, but when it depends on another person like my girlfriend I have do control over what she does, thus have no control over this aspect of my life. That's what scares me.

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:23 am

LB you are not supposed to control another person's life.
We are all individuals.
Let your girlfriend be a free spirit as God intended and
learn to appreciate her individuality.

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:37 am

I don't mean control her, but her decisions also affect mine, thus I have no control over this aspect of my life.

Like for example if she says she wants to marry me and that a part of my plan also then I will gear my life toward marrying her.

But 2 months she can say "Oh you know what? I found someone else" or "I don't feel the way I used to about you", or "I found someone better"

That is time I invested and now because of her decision to change her mind my life is stressful, mixed up and unpleasant.

(GOD forbid this to happen though ! )

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:43 am

LB the world is full of ups and downs. There are NO
guarantees in life.
As you get older you will realise that certain things
happen, and you have to deal with them and move on.

Again you are just filling your head with..she will leave me,
she will leave me.

Have you ever heard of self fullfilling prophecy?
That's where you keep saying something is going to happen
to you, and invariably you end up causing it to happen.

Take that negative thought out of your head and be happy.
She is with you because she wants to be with you, not
because you forced her. Now appreciate that and enjoy
your relationship.

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 pm

In the wise words of Sisipancake:

RELAX !

This is some of the best Advice I ever recieved, although Denzel was right when he said:

"seeking advice from ladies about a lady. They cannot be objective."

BUT I DO APPRECIATE EVERYONE'S ADVICE, whether they are male or female.

I think the real issue is sercuity.

I am I being insecure, or is my girlfriend giving me lack of a secure relationship?

For example:

A women expects the man to provide her with things to make her feel secure. (I don't mean that women depend on men for stability)

But its like when it comes to men, women don't say things that make their man feel secure.

Like I told my girlfriend I would never plan to leave her and I know myself that i wouldn't change my mind to leave her.

When I ask her how she feels about me she says:

Hmm, I don't know how the future will turn out there and that I don't know if I'll change my mind

But other times before she said she would never change her mind.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

LB wrote:

I don't mean control her, but her decisions also affect mine, thus I have no control over this aspect of my life.

Like for example if she says she wants to marry me and that a part of my plan also then I will gear my life toward marrying her.

But 2 months she can say "Oh you know what? I found someone else" or "I don't feel the way I used to about you", or "I found someone better"

That is time I invested and now because of her decision to change her mind my life is stressful, mixed up and unpleasant.

(GOD forbid this to happen though ! )

LB

if she did that, she has every right to do so..................like I said earlier, from the way you reply, it seems like if this girl does not marry you, you would do something.

And that's very scary! I know of too many situations in which, insecure men like you have killed a girl, just because she changed her mind!

You need to get help! It's not about the time, money or talents you've invested in this relationship, it's about her right as an individual to change her mind!

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:34 pm

lol OMG No.

If she changed her mind I would just be really disappointed, but not forcible. I always tell her if she would like to date other people thats fine and I would give her space

but if I invested much time only for her to simply change her mind then thats disappointing.

Okay to see it better in my point of view I'll use this example:

If a girl is with her man and she asked him if she was to get pregnant would he be there and he would say yes

9 months later he says well now i am not so sure about things...

Thats what I am talking about. Not doing nothing hurtful to her but I am highlighting the control someone can have over your life by what they say.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Sometimes we deceive ourselves......................................you know from the onset of that relationship, that man was not ready to be a father.

In which case, they should have been using protection. Forget about the "natural feel" line and protect your future!

It is not the man's responsibility alone to bring the protection; women have got to start thinking like that!

I'm sure she wasn't planning to have a child either. So it's a two way street.

As hurtful as it may seem, until people start behaving responsibily................that kind of stuff will happen! You should never allow anyone to have control over your life by what they say or do! NEVER!

No matter what they promise, it isn't real until it happens! So live your life! That doesn't mean do not commit to a relationship or be a "dog", just don't dwell on the promise; in the event it doesn't happen, you won't be crushed!

Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:53 am

Very Wise Words Sister#1 !

Very Happy

I'll try harder to ease up.

It'll be much easier if I had a drink though... Surprised