How do I tell my boss that i really like him?

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 6:07 am

my boss is a very handsome, articulate, confident, successful and fifteen years older then me. he is the owner of the company i work for. i was just hired with the company and was already told by two different people that he is very attracted to me, he shows it but doesn't tell me. i want him to know that i'm attracted to him without out being perceived as 'fast' or 'slutty'. i also don't want him to think that i only want to sleep with him because i want something more. in different conversations he expressed that he dates younger women, wants to be in a relationship and if he had to select a woman he would want someone like me.
with all this information i need suggestions on what to do because this is such a difficult situation and im so confused especially when he's in my presence!!

President Poster Joined: Aug 04, 2004 Posts: 189

It is a big recipe for trouble to combine romance and work, for so many reasons. I don't know what country you work in, though, and it varies from country to country, but in the U.S. it is generally a no-no for women to be involved with their male bosses. When the romance doesn't work out, often it is the woman who stands to lose a LOT, including the job. In addition, it is illegal (sexual harrassment for the boss to make unsolicited moves at employees in the United States, not that this is happening in your situation.).

My rule at work is be strictly professional, especially with superiors. That is just my opinion. I know many women have no problem cozying up to the boss, some for career advancement (which I think is so distateful) and I see it a lot. Some women jump leaps and bounds b/c they got married to the boss, even though their work is so-so.

I'm not saying not to let him know that u are interested, I'm just saying be VERY VERY careful about what u are getting into.

I'm not sure where u live but if u live in North America, they have companies in North America whose policies do not allow employers and employees to carry on a public intimate relationship in the work place. There are a lot of equity issues that can come up because of it.

For instance, when promotion time comes, if u guys have an intimate relationship that is open to the public, someone will say that u are only getting a promotion because u are dating the owner. That is an equity issue that can become a legal one. Remember, an owner must treat all his employees as equals. If u are dating him publicly, no one will think u are getting treated as an equal to everyone else.

Also, if the relationship ends on a bad note, that could also effect the way u get treated. U may not get the promotion u deserve, or he may make u do more work than others because the relationship did not end good.

I say, if u choose to date him, do not make the relationship known to your co-workers. Keep your personal lives out of the work environment. That does not just include the good times, that also means that if and when u have relationship problems, they must be kept out of the work place.

Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 2:32 pm

My suggestion, keep it strickly professional. Never mix business with pleasure. What ever decision you make just remember to look at the situation from a professional as well as a personal stand point. Professionally, you don't want that to interfere with your work. You might just have one person(your boss) on your side and the rest of the office against you for whatever reason they may have. Now if you do decide to date this man and it doesn't work out, can you go to work every day and look this person in the face or be confortable around them? This is a good one, but I am sure you will make the right decision.

Be Blessed.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Two things:
1) Don't let all that "stuff" go to your head; it could be just for that purpose.

2) The fact that he's admitted that he "DATES" younger women, and has never married any of them, doesn't mean he's going to change for you. Let that be a red flag.

I don't know either of you, but Kru's advice is a good one. Talk to any of the other young girls he's dated. Find out why this well-mannered, wealthy, perfect man is not married or why he's never been married.

That "hot office romance" may "cool" as soon as he gets his fill. Whatever your decision, remember you have to live with AND work with it.

Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:26 am

Thanx a lot guys....i really appreciat your advices.....it is a very difficult situation and i am going to make the best decision. I will definately keep you updated.

You all be blessed!!

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Did you date him? Older men can be very persuasive...............ok.......slick!

Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:08 am

How do you approach your boss?

You don't! One of you is going to get sacked, and guess who's the weakest link?

Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:38 am

Stefania,
How did things go?

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

We never did hear from this sister after this thread. I hope she didn't do it.