what would you do?

Average Poster Joined: Jun 28, 2007 Posts: 54

Put yourself in this person's shoes:

You've been in this on-off long distance relationship with this guy. You feel the clock's ticking and he's taking his own sweet time to make up his mind. Other than that, he's financially supportive and you enjoy being with him whenever you guys meet (which is like twice a year). He decides to relocate to be with you but stops communicating after the decision is made. After six months incommunicado, you decide to move on. You meet this guy whom you share this great chemistry- things couldn't be better. He expresses his desire to be your life partner; you're over the moon. The plan was that he'd travel to the States, inform his family about you and return to do a small wedding. After a month of his departure, you start to worry. Then you get the news- your future husband was killed in a car accident. You're devastated. How can life so cruel.

Then your former flame calls you. He's back for good and would like to pick up from where he left off. After begging for your forgiveness and explaining the several reasons for his acting like an a-hole, you take him back. You get married in three months. You're pregnant. Your husband's ecstatic but deep down you know it's not his. But what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right? The baby, a boy, is born and sure enough he looks like your deceased boyfriend but your husband doesn't take notice cuz the skin tone and mouth are yours. Things look good until you get a call- from your deceased boyfriend's parents. How they got to know the baby's their son's you don't know but they want the baby to take on their son's name since he died without a child and this will ensure that his name lives on as well as ensuring the boy enjoys the properties and monies his dad left behind. You're torn: accept their request and your husband will not live down this betrayal- it could mean the end of your marriage. Refuse and prevent your son from knowing his grandparents and dad's family as well denying him his birthright.

What would you do if you were in her shoes?

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 6:49 pm

hello bpudding,

I guess the lady was very stupid and wicked to have kept such a secret from her husband before getting married, I would have told my man i am pregnant and apologize, remember he also didnt contact me for so long and stuff does happens. If he truly loves me he would forgive after all we were not yet married.

On the otherhand I will NEVER deny my son his right in knowing his biological dad's family, the harm has already been done so it will be difficult but i will have to tell my husband everything and be ready for the outcome than deprive my son of his inheritance that will be sooooooo selfish.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:09 am

She should have told him right from day one what the facts are.
If he really loved her, he would have stayed.
Better to tell him now..because that little boy needs his true Identity,
and he has his whole life ahead of him. No point telling your child
lies. One day it will come back and haunt her.

Average Poster Joined: Jun 28, 2007 Posts: 54

Playing the devil's advocate here- let's say that she only got to know of the pregnancy after the wedding. Besides, during you were in a relationship- why apologize for that? Your husband had other women until he returned home to you.

I guess the consensus is that she tells hubby.

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:42 pm

Here is how I see it... if a man leaves or vice versa, one
still has to carry on living.
She has done nothing bad except that she should have
(if she knew before hand) told him what the score was.
If it was a case of she is unsure ..still tell him and then
let them get a DNA test done. This is now about the child
and not the 2 adults involved. They need to be strong and
put aside any emotional ifs and buts.
Please put the child first.
True Love knows No Bounds.