Men???

Average Poster Joined: Jul 02, 2005 Posts: 73

Just wanted to share it with u guys

Oprah wrote this about men...

- If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

- If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

- Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

- Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

- Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

- Slower is better.

- Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

- If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".

- A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.

- If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

- Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

- You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

- The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

- Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

- He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

- Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

- Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

- If something bothers you, speak up.

- Never let a man know everything.

- He will use it against you later.

- You cannot change a man's behavior.

Change comes from within.

- Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

- Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

- Never let a man define who you are.

- Never borrow someone else's man.

- If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

- A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

- You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

- You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

- You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

- Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

- Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

- Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

- Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

- Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Is this a good advise folks?

Here is what I think :

This is crap! . "Women want to be treated good, its two way compromise, -

Quote:

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

Come up now Oprah. most of the problems in a relation are created by both parties...mostly women, coz you know why? They demand too much! ....

Don't get me wrong, I treat my lady right if she treats me right...we argue and fight, but we make-up every single time....does that mean we got to halt the relationship?

Oprah you too good for that sweetheart.

Average Poster Joined: Oct 15, 2005 Posts: 93

Peacer wrote:

Just wanted to share it with u guys

Oprah wrote this about men...

- If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

- If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

- Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

- Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

- Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

- Slower is better.

- Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

- If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".

- A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.

- If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

- Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

- You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

- The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

- Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

- He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

- Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

- Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

- If something bothers you, speak up.

- Never let a man know everything.

- He will use it against you later.

- You cannot change a man's behavior.

Change comes from within.

- Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

- Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

- Never let a man define who you are.

- Never borrow someone else's man.

- If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

- A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

- You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

- You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

- You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

- Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

- Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

- Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

- Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

- Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Is this a good advise folks?

Here is what I think :

This is crap! . "Women want to be treated good, its two way compromise, -

Quote:

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

Come up now Oprah. most of the problems in a relation are created by both parties...mostly women, coz you know why? They demand too much! ....

Don't get me wrong, I treat my lady right if she treats me right...we argue and fight, but we make-up every single time....does that mean we got to halt the relationship?

Oprah you too good for that sweetheart.

Good piece Peacer, thanks for sharing it!!!!!

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

Peacer
I think you are wrong for placing the blame on the woman if you think we are too demanding.......I mean if the heat's too much in the kitchen ...get out!
I know you are not trying to say that men are not demanding...... Shocked

Some men are like babies.......and even those that are not ..are still demanding. The truth is in all relationships someone is going to make some demands.....actually both parties....if you're not making demands....which I know you are......you're being used! Or you're "fronting" !

President Poster Joined: Aug 04, 2004 Posts: 189

They seem to be valuable advises. But remember, clever guys will always find counter tactics. So, such check list / road map will take you to no where. I think Oprah have those written for women who are weak and can't make sound decision for their own good. the whole text sounded like a "generalization" which I disagree with most of it. Usually we try to find a remedy to any situation and in this case it should be a way to find the problem and work on it...not "Kicking it to the curb"!! and move on to the next relationsip. Wonder why most African Americans are single, with 3-6 children.

Forums Moderator Joined: May 18, 2005 Posts: 1023

That is a plight that is not exclusive to African-Americans alone......take a look in our communities....and other African communities.....there are Liberian women with several kids....some of which have different fathers....and vice versa.
I believe we as humans need to dispel the "microwave" mentality. As with everything in life....... you have to work at it if you want to see some positive results! So before you "kick" that relationship to the curb......take a second look....it may be that you are the reason it's not working out!

Guest

Have you all missed the point? Oprah just listed the reasons why Steadman will not Marry her. If the Kpelleh girl was such an expert on men, and relationships, why is sister girl still single, and putting up with Steadman? Where there's fire, there's always smoke..And I did mean it that way. and not "where there is smoke there is fire" Because in the final analysis, The smoke..."MEN" always remain long after the raging FIRE has gone, or been put out. Now y'all chew on that for a spell

Average Poster Joined: Oct 15, 2005 Posts: 93

Guest wrote:

Have you all missed the point? Oprah just listed the reasons why Steadman will not Marry her. If the Kpelleh girl was such an expert on men, and relationships, why is sister girl still single, and putting up with Steadman? Where there's fire, there's always smoke..And I did mean it that way. and not "where there is smoke there is fire" Because in the final analysis, The smoke..."MEN" always remain long after the raging FIRE has gone, or been put out. Now y'all chew on that for a spell

Should it always come to this? " OPrah just listed the reasons why Steadman will not MARRY her."

So what are you insinuating here, that only married people should be considered experts on relationships?